Falling Up
by FightingMyFate
Summary: He tried to take it slow, but it still ended up the worst, and now he's stuck between his love for one man and his lust for the boy that was slowly growing into his father's shoes.
1. Stop

**Falling Up**

_Warnings: Yaoi, possible lemon/lime sequences._

_Pairings: Auron/Tidus, past Auron/Jecht, and some non-too-graphic or detailed Tidus/Yuna._

_Notes: I got tired of trying to find a good Auron/Tidus fic so I decided to write my own._

_Thanks: To my ever-inspiring friend and beta NEB, who, like always somehow managed to get me obsessed with the universe of FFX. And damn, Auron has to be the sexiest dead man alive! (Don't you love oxymorons?) Also, a big thanks to my wonderful friend Jason, who helped me recover from a really bad break-up with a boy I wasted over a year of my life with._

_"They say love hides behind corners, then I must be walking in circles."_

Chapter One: Stop

The boy laughed. His voice a light tenor but bordering on deepening. He was growing up, and the man watching his back saw this, even with his limited vision.

Tidus was forcing laughter off the side of the platform they stood on, the summoner Yuna stepping up to join him in the ritual of smiling over sadness. It was something Tidus was not used to, he never had to pretend to be joyful when inside he was crying. But he was growing up. He was learning and watching with his own sky blue eyes how the world was different here, how not everything revolved around blitzball or his ire for his old man, Auron's old friend, Jecht.

Auron watched them, lacking expression on his weathered face and hiding his good eye behind reflective sunglasses. He always watched Tidus, he knew it was wrong. He should have been watching Yuna as well. The last requests of dying men, was to put their children into his inexperienced hands. He had to play the empy role of father to them both, and he didn't know how he was managing, but he had made it this far, and for that he was grateful.

With pride came fear though, and the one thing Auron feared more than breaking his oaths, was his alarming affection for Jecht's son. They had been there, dormant ever since Auron had first come into Tidus's young life, and now that the boy was older, fully grown into his body and abilities, those affections had blossomed into something Auron himself had not felt in over a decade.

Lust. Physical attraction.

Tidus didn't know, he didn't need to know, because Auron had sensed the growing relationship between Tidus and Yuna, and he had left it at that. He was the Guardian, nothing more.

Tidus and Yuna started to laugh naturally at themselves, Wakka scratching his head in curiosity and Lulu rolling her eyes, but both of Yuna's childhood friends were smiling. Kimahri didn't move, only stood solemnly next to Auron, watching the young summoner, daughter of Auron's last charge, High Summoner Braska. Rikku was bouncing on the balls of her feet, rocking back and forth and truly happy that Yuna was in such high spirits. It made the journey flow smoother, rather than weigh it down with heavy hearts and guilt, regrets and sadness for what was bound to happen to Yuna at the end. It was easier to just pretend, and forget.

The group soon started to move once more, Tidus and Yuna still giggling between themselves, Lulu, Wakka and Rikku arguing again albeit playfull, while Auron brought up the rear just behind them. Kimahri had moved ahead, checking the route and securing it to the best of his Ronso abilities, which left Auron as the odd one out. He had grown used to it over the years, being alone, standing in the shadows and watching instead of participating. His mind drifted as they moved further into a thick forest area, his sight burning holes in the back of Tidus's head. He could not help it during times like these when he was ignored for the most part, alone in the sense. His memories caught up with his daydreaming, and all he could ponder on, was Jecht and his teasingly similar son.

Tidus would deny this accusation with a passionate fury, but Auron knew better, Tidus had the same tendencies as Jecht, same arrogance but the same aloof modesty and inner softness. He would boast and brag and portray over-confidence in everything he did, every action, but then he would withdraw from the forced spotlight and let someone else step up, humble and kind as it would seem when the time was right. Both had been angered, confused, lost when they had been taken from Zanarkand and thrown here, in Auron's world of Spira, Auron's world of Sin. But both quickly became accustomed to this new universe, both grew to the point where they would have doubts about leaving Spira to return to their true home. That had been Jecht's decision, to stay here with Auron and Braska, and see Braska to the end before sacrificing himself for his friend, sacrificing himseld to save Auron's young life. Tidus would stay for Yuna, Tidus would stay for his friends. He didn't know about the summoner's impending death, but Auron knew Tidus would be the first to step up if that is what was needed to be done. Somehow the unsent warrior could see Tidus rebelling, and changing everything. And that's what felt right, Tidus being here to fight Sin, who had become his father Jecht.

"Water Flan!" Wakka shouted suddenly, and Auron's mind came back to where it was supposed to be.

"Lulu!" Yuna called, and Lulu nodded, knowing her place instantly.

Kimahri fell back, Tidus stood faithfully by Yuna's left side with Lulu at her right, and Auron remained stuck in the background again with an anxious Wakka, Rikku and Kimahri. The Water Flan, which looked like nothing more than a nearly-translucent blue blob, squeeled, his high pitched shrieking loud enough to stun Auron's ear drums for a moment to where he could not hear anything outside of the beating of his heart. Yuna yelped, holding her own ears and grimacing in pain. Her reaction triggered Tidus's renowned anger, a hatred and possessiveness he unknowingly picked up from his father, and the blonde lurched forward, slashing at the fiend with his sword, the Brotherhood that Wakka had gifted him with.

Lulu closed her blood red eyes and concentrated, her figure taking on a golden glow as the elemental power of lightening came to her, the sparks igniting and centering at her right hand. Her arm lifted, and her eyes opened, their color nearly black now as she focused on the Flan and swung her arm down. The lightening struck, hitting it's mark, and the Flan gave out under the pain, melting before dissapearing completely into specks of dust and glitter, pyreflies escaping their prison of ire.

Yuna fell to her knees, a strangled look of hurt gracing her delicate face as she continued to rub at her injured ears. She had been too close to the fiend when it had screamed it's wrath, and now she still could not hear.

"Yuna?" Tidus asked, rushing to her side, and the rest of her Guardians followed.

Auron stood behind the young girl, whose teary eyes looked around her in mild fear and worry. All she could make out was static and fuzzy noises, and her throat had tightened. She could not speak, and she felt weak. Rikku began to panic, Wakka's wide eyes glancing between everyone, and Tidus desperately trying to get Yuna to answer him. Auron knelt and moved in front of Yuna, effectively moving Tidus away from the silenced girl.

"She needs an Echo Screen." He told them firmly, his tone blank.

Kimahri did not hesitate to present one, and Auron took it, letting Yuna see it before giving it to her to drink. She did as she was instructed, and the liquid burning down her throat loosened the muscles and opened her ears. She could feel her magic returning to her and her strength was restored as the potion settled in her stomach.

"Thank you, Sir Auron," Yuna rasped modestly, almost embarressed, in her quiet voice still husky. "I've never seen a Flan's magic do that before. I was worried it might have been something else."

Auron nodded in understanding, and stood to let the rest speak to the bewildered summoner. Auron had never seen a Flan do that either, it usually only attacked in it's element, but that piercing scream had cast Silence on Yuna, and it had frightened her if only a little, because it was not common. It wasn't even heard of, and the small group that helped Yuna stand continously asked the young girl if she was alright, because they had never heard of such a thing either.

"We should rest." Auron told them, a voice left without room for argument, his stern gaze focused on Yuna and straying from Tidus for the moment.

Yuna looked ready to defend her condition and continue on their journey, but she didn't like to contradict Auron, she trusted his judgement and aimed to abide by his wisedom. Afterall, it was he who helped her father before her, and her father had defeated Sin with Auron's help those ten years ago.

"Yes, I think that is wise." Lulu agreed openly, and led Yuna by the hand off the path and into a narrow clearing.

The rest followed, Auron waiting to trail behind as always, but didn't move when he saw Tidus staring at him. The boy's wild blonde hair brushed against his tanned neck with the very small breeze coming through the trees, his icy blue eyes furrowed in thought as he watched Auron watch him. The old warrior did not say anything, it was not his custom to do so, but he did frown when Tidus uncharacteristically did not voice his thoughts, and followed the group silently without looking back.

A small fire was lit with Lulu's magic, and the blankets were dragged out and unfolded for the group to rest upon. Yuna was almost instantly asleep, as was Rikku who snored loud enough to wake the dead. Kimahri stood resolutely close to Yuna, his eyes although seemingly unmoving, watched everything. Lulu and Wakka were whispering between themselves as the mage gathered her skirts together and reclined against a thick tree trunk, the ex-Blitzball Captain leaning on her right. Auron sat with his knees bent and his legs crossed, his katana faithfully by his side, and closed his eye.

If everything went well tonight, Auron could only hope to be lucky enough to not dream. Nightmares would have been a welcomed intrusion lately, with all the fantasies clouding his tired mind, all the haunting images of sweaty bodies and teasing, crystal blue eyes.

Tidus sighed, laying on his back and staring at the sky through the branches of the forest trees. He could barely make out a cloister of tiny stars, but was sure he was seeing things. It had been a long day, having been told the truth about where his father had been, uncovering uncertain feelings for a girl who seemed too certain about something for happiness to make it through, and now being sleepless. He was exhausted, but he could not close his eyelids, could not lull himself into the darkness of slumber.

The blonde rolled onto his left shoulder, back to the dark and front facing the flickering fire. The smell of fresh buring wood was welcomed gratefully, the homey aroma comforting in a sense. He could see Yuna's face, just to the side of the flames, how peaceful she looked, how she smiled while she rested. Tidus couldn't bring himself to smile back, he felt no effort to pull his lips into even a tight grin, but watching Yuna breathing, the innocent expression on her face, made him feel safe. It made him feel like this was where he belonged, and that his fate was finally unravelling. It was nothing like he had thought his destiny to be, star Blitzer, hero of Zanarkand, the biggest celebrity anyone had ever seen, no. This was true heroism, this had a meaning, people's lives were on his shoulders, as well as everyone elses. People would remember his name in Blitzball, but not everyone was a Blitzball fan. People would remember his name as a Guardian to a Summoner who defeated Sin and brought a Calm, who saved Spira's peace for just a little while. Everyone, was a fan of peace.

Tidus felt his eyelids grow heavier, and yawned in relief, feeling the edges of sleep tickeling at him. Sated, he rolled onto his opposite shoulder, and came face to foot with Auron. The older man had his right leg stretched out, the left still folded beneath him with his gloved arm in his lap and his head tilted almost gracefully to the side. Tidus could just barely make out the soft nasal sound of Auron breathing through his nose, and knew he was sleeping.

Tidus could not describe his feelings for Auron, the man who had been there to fill his father's empty shadow. Auron had been there, always, the whole time. He had been the arms to comfort Tidus when his mother died, he had been the strong chest to punch and kick at when Tidus was little and needed to scream out his hatred for Jecht and life's unfairness. Auron had been the ever watchful eyes when Tidus was growing and becoming curious, he had been the consoling voice whenever Tidus failed or fell, and he had been the soft shoulder to cry on. He'd been the only person Tidus had to run to when he was scared or needed advice, and Auron had taken it all in stride, only saying what was necessary and leaving the rest for Tidus to learn on his own. Thinking back on all that now, Tidus realised that Auron could have made the perfect father.

But strangely, Tidus could not look at Auron as his father, he even had doubts looking at him as a friend. It was something more, maybe a form of curiosity that was bubbling inside him that he needed to know. Was it Auron's mysterious past? Or was it something about himself that he needed to test?

Tidus shook his head lightly and pulled a corner of the black blanket over his body. Even though the fire was still burning brilliantly, he was shivering, and his head was beginning to spin from musing so hard and so long. He didn't like to dwell on things, but he didn't like to be confused. He would figure this out tomorrow morning, and speak with Yuna.

The sun rose too fast in Wakka's opinion as the group began to wake with him. Kimahri looked as if he hadn't moved even to blink, and Wakka frowned. How could he do that?

Lulu shifted next to Wakka, and awoke to find herself damn near spooning against her fellow red-headed Guardian. She blushed hotly, and sat up to scoot away without insulting Wakka. Rikku was the last to come back to reality, lost in the nothingness with a little bit of drool still clinging to her bottom lip. Yuna giggled as she sat up on her knees, glancing around to everyone and smiling as Tidus stretched sore muscles.

Auron was already standing near the path back onto the trail, fully awake and ready to move on as soon as everyone got to their feet. It looked as if he hadn't slept either, but Tidus knew better. In the blonde's honest opinion, the man looked different now, less calm, more stressed. Somewhere in his chest, somewhere Tidus himself could not feel or recognize, he realized he liked watching the usually stoic man unwind in his sleep, and it dissapointed him slightly that he rarely ever got such an oppertunity. These such feelings whirled into an eddie within him, and as hard as he tried, he could not pick out what emotions they were. It was all a blur right now, a blur he wanted to see clearly.

"Let's go." Auron said calmly, and everything was packed quickly into the travel sacks Wakka and Kimahri carried before the group moved onward.

The morning had brought mist and fog, and Yuna began to withdraw. Tidus saw this with worry, and watched her more closely than he ever had before. He could feel Auron's gaze again, like the many days before, burning holes into his back, flickering between him and the Summoner. It made him feel protected, but at the moment, it aggravated him.

"Geez, if this stuff were any thicker I'd think we'd drown yah?" Wakka said, breaking the dense silence and speaking what everyone else was basically thinking.

Auron, personally, did not like fog. It left the party blind to attackers, even with Kimahri's incredible sense of sight and smell, the water-vapor would make it extremely hard to pick up the odor of a fiend. Auron knew this, and regrettfully, but forcefully, pulled his stare from Tidus to their surroundings. Safety came before obsession and day dreaming about a fantasy that was too far to ever reach.

They made it through the moody weather without dissruption or attack, and the sun began to center in the sky, sparkling down through the willowing tree branches to highlight little spots of land beneath them. Tidus watched as Yuna's expression lifted, and a grin touched her soft lips as she mentally thanked the sun for shedding it's glorious light on their path. It made the blonde smile once more, to see the young girl's aura brighten, and he found it hard to look away from Yuna to concentrate on the road ahead of them.

Auron watched the exchange, and grimaced, disgusted at himself as he felt his heart sink. It was wrong. Tidus was like a son to him because of how their relationship had been before returning to Spira. Auron had loved Jecht, and Tidus was not Jecht, no matter how similar the two men were. He needed to win this internal battle, he needed to kill his desires for Jecht before they killed his relationship with Tidus. And Auron knew that, but it was much easier said then done, and the old warrior's emotions continued to flitter and weep at the sight of Tidus taking Yuna's hand tenderly.

"Tidus?" Yuna asked, mildly surprised, but comforted at the young man's show of affection.

"Yeah?"

Yuna blushed hard, and dropped her gaze, not able to look into those almost reflective, pure blue eyes of his. Her eyes closed briefly and her pace slowed a fraction, before she could find her voice once more.

"Thank you." Yuna whispered, and all Tidus could do was keep smiling at her gorgeous face, those liquid mis-matched eyes of truth and honor staring wantonly back up at him. He melted inside, letting her see through him.

"Alright!" Rikku suddenly exclaimed, jumping up once and pumping her fist in victory. "We're finally outta that damned forest!"

Wakka laughed at the bouncy Al Behd, while Lulu, Kimahri and Auron stayed silent. Tidus and Yuna, didn't even seem to notice as they looked across the horizon together, still walking until they were multiple feet away from the rest of the Guardians. Auron did not let them out of his sight, and as much as it hurt him to watch them slowly fall deeper in love, he knew it was going to hurt more when they reached the end of all this. Someone was going to die, someone other than himself, and he knew the group would fall apart.

"I'm hungry!" Rikku exclaimed, her voice and enthusiasm quickly getting on his sore nerves. He wasn't willing to take much more, and turned without prompting to start a hunt for food to shut the girl up.

The Guardian ended up by himself with his katana, walking, tiptoeing through the thicket that lay into the border of the forest they had just escaped, sunglasses removed so he could see better, and he hunted. He crept for nearly an hour, before coming across animals tracks, and followed them, red kimono tied to his belt so as not to create extra noise. He found a full grown boar of such, wild, male, with long ivory color tusks that glimmered in the sun light. Holding his weapon ready, he braced himself to attack, and then moved on quick, experienced feet.

Tidus and Yuna sat together, close to one another, on the cliffside, watching as the sun moved from directly above them to almost in front of them, and niether took any notice. Tidus's feet were starting to hurt from the continous walking, but he kept his mouth shut, not wanting to sound like a cry baby if he complained, and chose to ignore the dull aching.

He flinched when he heard the squealing of a dying animal, and knew Auron had caught them their meal. He wasn't truly hungry, and he looked over his shoulder as Auron walked back to where Lulu had started another fire to cook the meat. Tidus would have ignored them, had he not noticed Aurond lacking his protective glasses, the glasses he hid behind. In almost shock, the blonde Blitzball player turned further towards the group, down right staring at Auron.

The last time Tidus had seen the man without his glasses on had been just under ten years ago, just after his mother had died. He had forgotten how Auron looked without them, his neck liner pulled down messily under the weight of the animal on his shoulder. Tidus had only seen Auron's entire face one time, and that was when he'd walked in on the man bathing nervously under the watchful eyes of the machina in his houseboat. Tidus had only been about seven or eight years old then, and he had blushed and cried all the way back to his bedroom.

Auron looked up after dropping the beast by the fire pit to meet Tidus's furrowed gaze, and met him stare for stare. It didn't take long for vanity to rise in Auron's chest, his disgust for his scar and his age winning out to where he fixed his collar and doned his glasses with practised ease. Tidus seemed dissapointed, but Auron turned his back to him and found a place to sit where he did not have to deal with such a confusing expression, coming from such a confusing boy.

Tidus huffed, and turned back out to watch the sun and the birds in the sky. Yuna watched him, before giggling.

"What?" Tidus asked, and Yuna's smile brightened.

"Why don't you just ask him?" She answered, folding her hands in her lap comfortably.

Before opening his mouth impulsively, Tidus stopped to think and brought his knees up to lean on them. What did Yuna mean? Ask Auron what? Ask him about his past, ask him how he got his scar, ask him why he always tried to hide his face and why he never told a whole story but little parts and the beginnings of chapters instead? Or, was it ask Auron, Sir Auron, how he felt about Tidus? Find out, how he felt about Auron in return, truly?

"I think, I'm afraid of the answer. Rejection I guess. Maybe, I'm afraid of hurting you." The blonde finally whispered in response, and the Summoner placed a thin fingered hand on his upper arm.

"Tidus, I do not want you to be toubled over this. Just ask. I will be here waiting when you come back."

Tidus grinned at her, covering her small hand with his as they moved to stand. Although Tidus was not hungry, he knew Yuna was because her stomach growled up at him, and she laughed embarrassed as her cheeks flushed. They were quiet the next couple of minutes, dead quiet.


	2. Listen

Chapter Two: Listen****************

Wakka was watching the meal cook with a savage hunger, Rikku sitting across from him doing the same with the addition of drool. Lulu gathered her skirts after adjusting the fire, and walked to sit with Auron.

Neither of the two Guardians said a word, but Lulu was not blind to Auron's gaze locked onto Tidus. Had she been ignorant, she would have thought he were staring at Yuna, watching over her. But Lulu was not ignorant, and she wasn't quiet about things like this either.

"Why do you still watch him so closely? He's almost an adult now, correct?" Lulu asked the warrior, confident in her suspisions.

"He'll be an adult when he thinks like one." Auron murmured, insulted by the tone in the mage's voice, but tried not to insult her in return.

The two didn't say much else between them, Lulu smiling behind her hair, and Tidus, with almost jealous eyes, watched them the whole time. He could not explain the feeling in his gut, but the only thing he could think of was forcing himself between Lulu and Auron and staying there, keeping her away from Auron and biting who ever else tried.

The blonde nearly slapped himself for thinking like that, and gasped realizing he WAS jealous of Lulu's close proximity to the older guardian. He ducked his head quickly behind the fire that seperated him from Auron, and hoped the man hadn't seen him glaring.

Lulu smirked wider, albeit darkly, and turned her head away from Auron to look at Tidus through the fire. She knew the boy was watching her, and she could sense his aura of jealousy even from this distance. She also noticed the meat coming close to done, and unfolded her arms to stand.

"Your too old to be chasing someone like him, Sir Auron," Lulu chuckled under her breath a little. "If it is meant to work out, perhaps he will be the one chasing you."

Auron's head snapped upwards at Lulu's back as she left him to cut the meal. Had she really just said that? Was he being that obvious? Auron had thought he was doing fine keeping it hidden, he thought he had covered everything inside, so then...he was always staring. Auron cursed inwardly, Lulu must have caught on to his constant staring at Tidus.

"Damnit." The Guardian whispered, and let his head fall forward in shame.

It was wrong, his feelings, his attraction. It was NOT meant to be, and it never would be. But the black mage was right about one thing, he was far too old to be chasing anyone, especially someone like Tidus, someone he swore to protect.

Wakka cheered in delight along with Rikku as Lulu began to serve the meal and Yuna helped pass around the scraps of unseasoned meat. The young Summoner had walked over to Auron briefly to offer him some of his own capture, but when Auron merely answered with a negative shake of his head Yuna frowned. Her oldest Guardian had not eaten in days, she was sure of it, she knew he had to be starved.

"Please eat, Sir Auron." She half begged, her sparkling eyes pleading.

As much as Auron did not wish to eat, he did not want to upset or worry his young charge. He took the offered food and sat back quietly, watching with satisfaction as Yuna smiled brilliantly and turned to take her place back by Tidus's side.

Tidus, chewing thougtfully, caught himself watching Auron, and looked to Yuna instead. He didn't know how to approach the warrior, because he did not know what he wanted to approach him about, and the confusion spiraling within him was ripping at his patience and making him nervous. The daylight was fading behind them, and after a day's worth of walking through thick trees and brush, Tidus hated to admit he was tired, but he was. He wasn't used to walking everywhere, but he had the feeling he was going to be forced into getting used to it.

Wakka and Rikku continued to fight over the leftovers of the food, Lulu merely watched them in turns, while the rest sat in their own worlds quietly. Yuna was back on the cliffside, watching the landscape and saying goodbye to nature's beauty for the last time. It was her first time through Macalania, and already it was her last. It depressed her, but in a way, she knew that the land would be kept beautiful because of her death, if only for a little while. And that was her motivation to smile.

Kimahri stood close to her, his tail flicking every so often from side to side, but that was his only movement. Auron still sat by himself, content to merely rest his eyes and listen to the music of the coming night as he tried to clear his troubled mind. Tidus watched him, as the fire died in front of him, breaking down the only barrier between himself and his Guardian just a few feet away. He couldn't help the confusion, and although he tried to make himself a part of Wakka and Rikku's conversation, he felt somehow like he didn't fit in during that moment.

Tidus finally gave up, and dug into Wakka's side pack for a blanket. Standing, he walked out towards the cliff, away from the Summoner, and lay by himself in the stillness of the solitude he'd found. For the first time in a long while, Tidus just wanted to be alone. He needed to sort things out with himself before he could quiet the noise in his mind and stop the anxious flittering of his heart.

He sighed, and lay on his stomach with his cheek on his arms, watching as the stars came out and began to play in the sky, winking down at them like they hadn't done in so long. It was always gray anymore, the group rarely saw true color because of the darkness that loomed over them, the danger that threatened them around every bend. The only real color Tidus ever saw anymore, was Auron's red kimono. That damnable red thing, always so bold in the grayest moment, like a light in a dark room, and it always followed him. It might sound immature to some, but Tidus looked up to Auron like a star. But not a celebrity, a real star. When he was little, walking home at night, Tidus could swear that the brightest star in the sky was following him, dragging the moon and the rest of the night with it. Auron was that star to him when he got older, always there but silent and steady in his stride.

No matter how hard Tidus tried to think of Auron as a father, or a legal guardian in the sense, he failed, miserably, and it came back to that strange emotion that he could never decipher. He thought about how it felt to watch Auron relax, the strange sensation he got at seeing Auron's entire face for the first time in years, his interest in the warrior's true past, his jealousy over Lulu's closeness with the man earlier that day. It was all similar to some of the things he felt for Yuna, the protectiveness, the curiosity, the feeling of calm he encountered everytime he watched her sleep or smile or laugh. He thought he loved Yuna, or at least that he was close to falling for her, hard. Everything he felt for her he felt for Auron too. But, there was something different.

Auron shifted so his back was more comfortable, and opened his eye to look over the rim of his glasses to see the fire dying and the group getting ready for bed. He didn't see Tidus though, and in a surge of energy stood in one fluid motion and looked for the blonde young man. He could not see him from where he was, and the boy wasn't with Yuna and Kimahri sitting out on the cliffside, nor was he anywhere by the fire. Without waking any of the other Guardians who were just dozing off, Auron walked around them to search for his missing charge. Tidus couldn't have gone far by himself, Auron was sure, but just in case, he grabbed his katana last minute.

Lulu opened her eyes to watch Auron walk off in search, and smiled as she whispered to herself.

"Maybe your not too old, afterall. Perhaps it is Tidus who is too young."

Wakka stirred when he heard Lulu whispering, and glanced to his side. "What was that Lu?"

Lulu closed her eyes, "Nothing to worry about."

Relaxing into a calming breeze, Tidus shifted onto his shoulder and closed his eyes, yawning and stretching his legs the best he could before resting completely. He'd given up on trying to figure things out, and all he wanted to do right now was sleep. He couldn't hear the rest of the group talking anymore, so he guessed they were sleeping as well, and thought nothing of it.

"I thought you didn't like to be alone."

Tidus jerked upwards into a sitting position to see Auron standing a few feet from him, his heavy katana resting on his shoulder. Tidus breathed in relief, and lay back down. He could hear Auron move to set his weapon down as the older man took a seat on the empty grass.

"I just wanted to think, is that so much to ask?" Tidus said, turning so his back was to Auron and frowned.

He had not meant to sound insulted or angry, but that is how it appeared, and Auron knew better. He knew Jecht better. Whenever Jecht had been caught in deep thought he would immediately put on a mask of annoyance. Tidus was too much like his father, Auron thought, and smiled behind his collar.

"No, I guess not."

Auron fell silent after that, and sat so he could see everyone. Wakka, Lulu and Rikku were in the distance, laying around the last flickering flame of the fire, while Yuna had fallen asleep in Kimahri's arms a little ways out from them. The group had been scattered, and as much as that made Auron uncomfortable lest they come under attack, he said, nor did anything about it, because he was here, with Tidus, alone. And, even though nothing would happen, he knew, it still stirred feelings of belonging within him, like this was where he was supposed to be.

"Auron?"

Auron turned his head towards the blonde who was still facing away from him, his soft voice having broken the silence that had fallen onto them. Tidus sounded unsure of what he was about to say, and Auron waited patiently. They had all night after all.

"Where did you get your scar?"

The night sky darkened suddenly, the stars dimming as if shunned as the last of the fire was finally gone. Somehow the smoke made it out to where they were, and both inhaled the homey scent of burnt wood and meat. But neither said a word. Auron watched Tidus wait, his good eye slightly wider in surprise but he didn't let any other emotion show in his body language. Tidus flinched as the silence got thicker, and closed his eyes tightly, knowing he'd asked the wrong question.

"That is a different story, for a later time." The warrior nearly murmured, vanity and guilt ruling his conscious.

"Then, what will you tell me? Will you tell me why you hide your face? Will you tell me who you truly are?"

With each new question Tidus's voice became more bold, and he eventually rolled over to face the older Guardian straight. He didn't know why Auron's sudden shyness gave him courage, but he ran with it without worrying. He wanted an answer, but he wanted the truth more.

"How do you expect me to tell you who I am, when I don't know myself anymore."  
"Maybe because you do know, and your lying. Did you have a bad past then?" Tidus pressed, and Auron's posture visibly became stressed.

"Does it really matter," Auron told the blonde, looking at him over his dark glasses with a stern, accusing look. He did not like being interrogated. "And since when is it any of your business?"

Tidus took a step back from his questions, burned by Auron's rejection, and sat up to lean on his knees. Because of Auron's reactions, Tidus knew now that the man's past was tainted with pain and suffering of some kind, knew there was darkness that still haunted the warrior. And maybe that was enough for now, maybe a subject change was in order then.

"I'm lost," Tidus finally whispered after a drawn out hesitation. "So lost..."

Auron said nothing in return. It was ritualistic almost for the two, it was something that Auron had always done, something that Tidus was used to his guardian doing for him ever since he first came into his life back in Zanarkand. The man moved closer to Tidus, and sat behind him without prompting. Tidus moved on reflex, although his movements were a little hesitant now that he was uncovering strange emotions for the man, the blonde still found comfort in laying his head on Auron's thigh.

With his shoulders in the warrior's lap and his head resting close to Auron's knee as the mans legs were folded beneath him, Tidus took a deep breath. Auron's gloved arm came up to cradle his neck, while the other remained in it's spot against Auron's chest. Tidus let his eyes close. He could sleep here if Auron would let him, and now he found no energy to bring up the subject that had been troubling him for days now.

"What's wrong, Tidus."

Tidus groaned inwardly. It seemed he wasn't getting off so easily. Opening his blue eyes the young man chanced looking directly at Auron. As always, the man was hidden by that damned collar and those reflective glasses. Who honestly wore sunglasses at night anyway? Tidus moved on an impulse that came from no where, and before he could really see what he was doing, he had reached up to take off Auron's glasses.

Auron inhaled a sharp breath, but was otherwise frozen. Why was it such a big deal for Tidus to take off his glasses? Because they were his mask, his shield. They hid what he hated, they let him feel protected like something was surrounding him, holding him safely. But he let Tidus slip them off his nose and out from around his ears without a fight. Nervous about what he feared would come, all Auron could do was hold Tidus's eyes with his.

Bright, innocent blue met dark, anguished amber and the two stayed locked like that for what seemed to be hours. Never had they looked directly into each other's eyes before. The eyes, that were the windows to their souls, finally fully revealed before them, before Tidus. It was the best answer he could have gotten from the older man.

"I love Yuna," Tidus whispered, still holding Auron's powerful but fragile gaze. "At least, I think I do. But, there's something I can't figure out."

Tidus paused in his talking, to reach up once more, another impulse that he hoped wouldn't be slapped away, and without breaking eye contact, loosened Auron's high collar to be able to pull it down. This time, Tidus was able to see the widening of Auron's eye in surprise, and the amber brown color his eye was glittered with fear. But the man didn't stop him like the last time, and Tidus pulled the collar down all the way. It was the first time, the very first time, Tidus had been given the honor of seeing and fully studying Auron's entire face. And it took Tidus without warning as the surge of emotion that hit his chest almost made him lose his breath.

Auron was more weathered than Tidus had originally thought, the scar longer and uglier than he had guessed as it ran all the way down the right side of Auron's neck and dissapeared beneath his chest armor. His unshaven cheeks and chin made him look older, more stressed, but the uneasiness Tidus could see in Auron's expression made him look younger, and scared. His eyebrows weren't furrowed like usual, they were raised and nervous.

"I can't figure out..." Tidus started, and hesitated, still mesmorized by what he saw. "Can't figure out, why I feel the same things for you, that I do for her. Why whenever you let your guard down, even for a second, I see someone different. Someone I think I know, but, someone I truly don't understand."

The wisedom in those whispered words, the heartfelt tone they were spoken in. Auron was silenced immediately. He had nothing to say to the blonde in his arms. This had never happened before, he had always been able to respond to Tidus when they were in this position, the position Tidus felt most comfortable in, ever since childhood, but now he was speechless. How was a father-figure supposed to answer his charge when such a question was asked, such a statement was made. For a moment, Auron's heart had jumped into his throat at the knowledge of Tidus's partially hidden affections for him, but in the next second it had been shot and forced back in it's place from hearing and recognizing the confusion, and the truth about Tidus's love for Yuna. It was too familiar.

"Curious."

Tidus frowned when Auron murmured that one word, in an incomplete sentence backed by thousands of different opinions and thoughts that he knew Auron would never voice.

"What?" The blonde asked.  
"Your curious, and you want answers. Instant gratification, delayed objection."  
"Auron?"

The older Guardian heard nothing, felt nothing as Tidus sat up from his hold to look at him evenly. He ignored that pleading gaze, with those gorgeous, untouchable eyes. He ignored his own heartbeat as it pounded in his ears, and closed his good eye, smiling bitterly at himself as he reached up and hid his face behind his right hand. The cold leather of the black glove never made a difference, and Auron heard himself laugh under his breath. Tidus was going through a phase. A childish, but insistent phase. Auron had been the only person there for him until he became a star. Auron had been the only person in Spira that could tell Tidus what was happening to him until he made friends and found a different cause worth fighting for. And now, Auron was the only person Tidus could trust in telling these things, the only person he felt comfortable enough with to experiment. Auron, was a toy. Something to fall back on. Oddly enough, that hurt him, more than seeing Tidus fall for Yuna ever would.

"I could give you an answer, Tidus. But you'll hate me for it eventually."  
"Auron, I..."  
"Save it, and sleep. We will talk about this, another time."

And Auron left. Tidus watched him leave, watched him fixing his collar as he bent to retrieve his katana, and watched him as he donned his glasses on reflex. The man walked all the way back to where the rest of the group lay, and sat back in his seat against the nearest tree. Tidus was stunned, stunned by the hurt he had seen flood into Auron's gaze, stunned by the overwhelming emotion that had been carried on those words. He'd never seen or heard Auron act like that.

He knew then, that there were some things about his Guardian that were too tender to touch.


End file.
